First
by Alkyonides Meres
Summary: Because every kunoichi sells a part of herself on every mission. This is Hinata's story. Vague Sasuhina. Oneshot.


A/N I don't really know the meaning of this story.. It just called out at me.. You know ii wanted to be written, I guess..

Disclaimer; Own nothing but my thoughts... oh and my oc

**Warnings...** Contains oc.. Why? Because no other character matched.. And AU I guess because Sasuke has returned. Vague Sasuhina.

Also contains mild spoilers.

On with it now

She was the epitome of calmness... Always patient, radiating a small, calm aura around her.. Her beautiful snowy eyes always had the remains of a smile inside them.. Making her laugh was easy and it brought rare feelings of accomplishment to anyone who managed it... Distance from her was impossible to everyone in Konoha 12.

Sakura always found solace and an ear to listen at her for everything, her worry about her parents, her feelings for Sasuke that still haunted her, the way she now viewed Naruto that had many times caused her confusion and heartache. _Heartache because Sakura is afraid of the place the woman listening to her claims as hers in his heart._

Tenten would often run in the solace of her arms when loneliness overwhelmed her in her apartment. After being told of stories with flying white dragons that bore the names of rivers and of lost little girls in magical lands_ she had always been a good story teller_, Tenten would calm and require ways to get through to Neji. To make him open up at her, smile at her the way he kept reserved for the person holding her.

Ino would come saying that she wanted to keep her company and take care of her. Out of everyone Ino was the raven haired lady's favorite one.. She always came to look after her even though she ended up telling her about the worries of her teammates and her fears of losing Shikamaru to another woman, another country. And then Ino would ask about her and what was troubling her even though she would only smile and laugh it off.._ Because Ino loved her and understood anyway.._

Kiba and Shino were always there, knowing everything about her, understaning her better than even she did herself.._Helping her out and even crying for her when she lost that ability._

Neji always wanted to be the one who knew her best but the chance had been forever lost to him. She had forgiven but not forgotten._ Her heart was still broken and all that lingers between them are left unsaid.._

Naruto would come and rest his head to her lap while she gently stroked his locks. "_You are like a mother to me" _he had whispered lovingly and she had felt her heart bleed a little at his subtle rejection. Ever since saving him, he had been depended on her caring smiles, gentle caresses and loving embraces, but not in the way of a lover but in the way of a child clinging to his mother's skirt. But he would always talk about Sakura and how great his love for her was and inquire whether she knew what he could possibly do to have her._ Because in a twisted way he revels at her subtle anger that makes him feel momentarily wanted. _

Sasuke, after having returned had asked her to marry him. He had loved her since the academy and still viewed her in a romantic and respecting aspect. He had wanted her to open up to him, he had even promised he'd wait for her, for he knew she would eventually be his. _"I am patient when it comes to what I want"_

And then he had stolen a kiss from her.

"_Payback For the times that you caress his locks when it's my own that you should. I only let him because I know of his love for her, so he doesn't pose a threat to what is mine" _With those words Sasuke had left her standing awestruck, even though he wasn't her first kiss.

_No,that had been someone else's_.

A boy's with snowy hair and eyes the color of the sky ...

She had met him on her first Anbu mission on the land of snow.

_Blue eyes met white and a surge of lightning past through them._

Her mission was to assassinate the Damyo's son, for he was found to be preparing for a riot.

_My name is Akira, Aoi Akira._

The name of her victim was Aoi Akira.

_My name is... Ai.._

Do not give out identity. Your name will be Kamiya Ai.

_"Nice to meet you.. White eyed-san", he told her laughingly.._

Remember he wants to kill people of his own land and assassinate his father, our ally to gain power.

Strange how his smile seemed sincere.

_"You are rather plain looking", he had told her after a month of gaining his friendship. Her eyes turned to him and some of the hurt that shined through wasn't faked. It was snowing and no one but her and Akira had remained. "But you have beautiful eyes" he had continued, his deep baritone sending a shiver down the heiress's spine. "They are the color of pure snow.. I love them"_

His attacks are mostly ice and snow based. He manipulates ice to his command and can cause snowstorms. He is strong and smart. Deadly.

'So does he think he can control me?'

_"I love you." Akira whispered. Blood colored her cheeks instantly and she felt faint. _

She was certain she didn't love the man. She didn't. But Ai...

_She leaned forward and placed cold lips over his own. He smiled at her, a genuine, rare one before he engulfed her with his warmth._

Ai did.

She wasn't ice or snowflake. She was fire.

And she'd burn him.

_He made love to her a month later._

For no reason could he suspect her, after all she merely was a new girl who he willingly chose to know better, a stroke of pure luck from her side. After all she was to be the town's new medic.

_"Where are you from, Snowy eyes..?" He whispered to her as she lay on top of him._

'Snowy eyes... Strange... my name reflects the sun...'

She had been told to lie. She had to, otherwise he might suspect.

_"Konoha." She had whispered back.._

She never lies... She can only tell stories..

Three months had passed. Soon she would have to end it. She didn't love him, not the way she had Naruto. But to her.. Akira didn't seem as a killer anymore.

_"I have a vision" he had told her when they were walking, his hand resting snuggly around her waist. "I wish for this land to be prosperous and expand. To thrive once again. I wish to built a ninja school and train young ninjas properly and not the old way anymore. But most of all... I wish I would grab the chances my father refused because of fear.. I wish I could change this land into something better, bigger, stronger.." His sky blue had turned to her imploringly. "Do you think of me as foolish?"_

Yes.

_"No"_

Rubbish. Utter rubbish. If he made Snow strong, then war would wage. Other countries wouldn't like the shift on the power. But.. strangely it wasn't power he craved. It was peace.

_"Does it snow in Konoha? I don't think so, after all it's in the land of fire..Haha, stupid me" She merely stared at him amused._

'Please reconsider and stop. Even if I don't love you, you... you've become precious to me.'

Of course she had never told him that.

_"Ne...", he spoke again, a bit hesitantly though.. " I can't explain why but.. when it does snow in Konoha, your home.. I promise I'll be there watching it with you."_

It never snows in Konoha, foolish boy.

The fire won't allow it.

_"why...?" he was looking at her while life slowly drained from his eyes. She held him in her arms watching his face closely. "Because you're ice. And ice no matter how mush considers himself a solid object will always crumble under fire."_

_He pushed a lock of her raven hair and tucked it neatly against her ear._

_"Was it all a lie then?"_

Yes.

_"No.. I love you.. Please.. I hope you will forgive me.."_

She had been telling Ai's story... Not hers..

_He smiled at her. "My last breath will be yours then. Even though you killed me, I.. forgive you.. Hyuuga Hinata." Her eyes widened. She watched in mortal fascination as his blue eyes emptied. _

_She killed him. _

_And he had let her._

He had known all along. But his plan backfired on him.

He wished to make her fall in love. In turn he fell in love with her.

_"Foolish boy."_

Didn't you know that fire will melt you?

And now as Hinata was sitting in a restaurant with the rest of Konoha 12 she was suddenly reminded of him. It was winter, almost a year later after her first mission. And looking outside the window Hinata's snowy eyes widened slightly.

It was snowing. And for the first time in a very, very long time, tears started streaming down her face...

Tears because he had been her first in everything_ Anbu mission, kiss, lover, kill_

Tears because he had showered her with love _his kisses, his hugs, his words, his warmth_

Tears because he had chosen to end his life insted of killing her_ protecting her_

Tears because he had never lied to her_ why do you never call me Ai?_

Tears because she had lied to him _as a good kunoichi should do._

Alarmed the others rushed at her. Ino' voice overridden all the others. "Hina. Why are you crying?"

_'Am I really crying?'_

And in a shaky voice she told them..

_"Because I miss him.. Because he promised he'd be here to watch the first snow with me.. Because he listened when none of you do. Because he died by my hands. Because he died in my hands. Because I didn't love him and I wish I did.."_

" Because I love snow. But I hate ice.."

_'Are you punishing me finally?'_

And with that she departed to finally mourn for him and stop lying to herself.

Him; her first joy and her first grief..

Her first snow.

_'Liar... you promised we'd watch it together...'_

_A/N Please review if you'd like.. I 'd really apreciate the thoughts.. It's under Sasuhina because it alludes to that pairing..  
_


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